Shocked or Expected???

I was in a state of shock when I heard of Benazir Bhutto's assassination. Death is inevitable but when it is decided by someone other than the Creator one should give it a serious thought. It is so chilling to see and hear all about Bhutto's end in the media. She was a charismatic politician with her ideals and beliefs. One moment we see this figure cutting through the news and making headlines about her chances of being the next Prime Minister of Pakistan and the very next moment we find her no more. Her courage and composure are commendable. I am not sure if she was controversial or equipoise but death calls for calm.

How can one take the other's life into one's hands and play with it. The death of nearly 150 innocent people or even more evokes a fear in me. Today it is Pakistan tomorrow it can be anywhere. There can be a enumeration of the reasons behind all these killings. God only knows why and how these massacres can be stopped. It puts me in deep struggle to understand what can be the reason behind people not able to live in harmony with their neighbours to the extent of brutally taking one's life. Bhutto or others would have anticipated this to happen to her but not in such a short span and in this cold manner. Waves of death are hovering all round Pakistan at this time and will not consume much time to touch the shores of India and other nations. Can such anti social elements ever be forgiven? I wish I had the mind of God to actually judge in such situations.

The blame game has always had its way in these circumstances eventually fleeting the cause to be fought for. "I am tired of life!" these words are frequently used by me, I guess the revised version would be "I am tired of death!". It is intractable on the part of anyone for that matter to have claimed the lives of hundreds and thousands and should be brought to justice.

4 wheels!! 2 eyes!!

I was exuberant about driving a car but very soon I changed my mind! I enjoy the ride looking around and pulling my brother's leg in the driver's seat....later when we swap our positions the real fun starts not for me but the others.. One has two eyes but a hazaar things to be cautious about..three mirrors, the road, the passers by , the traffic police taking shade under some tree,blah blah!! never been to a driving school though.. steadiness is all that matters!! The imprudence with which I handle the steering brings the others in the car to their nerves yet I somehow derive a sadistic pleasure in doing so n watching it..Any person who can drive on Indian roads and this heavy traffic..each following their own set of rules..can do pretty well in grand prix :P!! Shucks!! look at the cattle, the pedestrians, cyclists and what not..everyone under the sun fights for their space and is out there to dash the road ..To extrapolate things no matter how careful you are, you are destined to hit atleast once in a day...I wonder that would be a reason for my perspiration rates to go up when I steer..I would be a lunatic if I just kept waiting like a good citizen, smiling sweetly and making way for the others..which I tried once but got a "what the heck!!!" kinda look !! It is said that our life sometimes takes on bumpy ride...i gotta chance to actually experience it while I was driving on paths filled with pot holes and none caring a damn to inter them for years!!..My vote now would go for the two wheels which is so easily manageable and peaceful...Filled with so much excitement, anxiety and fear..I bet its so hard to go out there and drive ..the funny thing is we get to greet people and get to know more folks each time u run into a accident...it can turn out to be an unpleasant meeting though..i guess a lil wit and a lil road sense can keep me going!! Awaiting for my next hit (and may be run this time)!!!! ofcourse I would not be claiming the life of any person or animal.. :) !!

Pushing the Limits >>>>

It's been a tiresome day. What did I do?? Hmm surely not nothing but something which finally reflects nothing. I am trying to expurgate my mind at the end as I call it a day...looking at these lights focussing on me here, thinking of getting back to my abode and berating myself for all the work I gotto do. I guess now I get a proper welcome to the corporate world!! haha.. This would be my story and this would be my song for the days to come.

It keeps going on and on... the sky is the limit to my germinary vexation at work. :)) Never mind I guess one fine day I would exchange it with a good output!! Monday morning after a long break of 3 days is something difficult to even gobble in my mind. I am sure it wud be the same for all those software eccentrics out there!! :) I donno what revolution I am bringing in this world of technology and life going wireless but it looks hard to acknowledge the fact that I am contributing something better than nothing..huh!!??!! It is all in a chain linked up which ends up on a nigh..hopefully!! Tracking down all those steps I climbed to get here makes me wonder was I meant to be here or else where :) The centre of life which acts like a compass helps us cycle through all these and then makes us feel satisfied with some part of our journey.

So any soothsayers here?? Do drop down some of those future bits about this world ...for being prepared for all those unpredicted and uncalled emergencies :D Ya you know what I am talking about. I feel sometimes like touching the sky coz thats what I see as my limit. I can bet that once I touch it I would try to push it..So I guess I will no longer stop pushing the limits..buddies let's touch the limits but don't stop there.. keep pushing it coz now our limits are raised higher...and will continue to do so in this game of life

It is beautiful !!!

It is rightly said that life is beautiful. It is all around you if only you can sense it. I've always been belligerent with my life. It drives me crazy sometimes to compromise coz we do not get what we want in life always. Each time I laugh, I am haunted by the thought that I would be crying one day. Isn't it kiddy??.. yaya I know... But whenever I cry, I never forget to remind myself that I would be laughing one day. This sounds like a bravo!! yaya Thank you :)

The other day I saw a little girl in her school uniform who was holding her mother's hand and walking along the road (probably to the school :P) and she was wearing a frown on her face. There was some fear in her eyes I felt. Very soon we both passed by. Two days later I saw that cute one again and this time she was different. Different in the way she was walking, there was a bliss in her eyes and she was so involved in her talking the walk with her mother. I wanted to be a school girl again :( Ofcourse without all those tests and exams :D

I had a wonderful time at school but surely not the happiest. I had my share of ups and downs at that stage of my life. But there were few who were holding my hand and walking by my side just like the little girl's mother. Thank God for all those amazing people who had made a difference in my life. Small things do make a big difference :) Now I never refrain myself from doing anything even if it seems small coz I know one day or the other it would be a key to a huge door of happiness :) Be happy and make a difference coz life is beautiful and you definitely want to be a part of someone's good books.

Have You Ever??

Have you ever heard the birds singing??
Have you ever heard the oceans roaring??
Have you ever heard the rivers flowing??
Have you ever heard a mother's song??

Have you ever seen the mountains tremble??
Have you ever seen the flowers swaying??
Have you ever seen the rain drops sprinkle??
Have you ever seen a baby crying??

Have you ever felt pain in your heart??
Have you ever felt peace on your mind??
Have you ever felt faith in your actions??
Have you ever felt the need of your neighbour??

Frozen!!

"You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen when your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken when your heart's not open"

okay these words are surely not mine :) !!!!

These are the lines from the song Frozen by Madonna. Today while I was walking to the bus stop to board my cab, this kept ringing in my mind. It was actually pouring down from the heavens in fact not like cats and dogs but just minute drops. The cold breeze made me feel so fresh and lovely. While I was singing those lines I was pondering whether I am contended with life or am I expressing contempt. I am yet to make a pick on those. Anyways I resolved not to devastate my present regretting about the past nor worrying about my future. I will live up to the best for this day this minute this second :) I am trying to open my eyes to see more than what I want to see. I want to come out of those comfort zones and stop wanting life to be what I want it to be. I want to see myself as God sees me and so I would see life as God expects me to see. That sounds good. I hope it makes me feel good too. So folks open your eyes and heart to see the beauty and the beast !!! I caution you not to be frozen :D

Life after Bits :D

It's been 169 days that I've stepped out of BITS :) phew!! quite a long time I feel... Life seems to get more colorful and beautiful as it goes...nonetheless it did take quite a long time for me to absorb all the emotions that came out during these days...

That's how life is..it goes on..neither summer nor winter..neither monsoon nor spring..neither joy nor sorrow nothing can put a halt to our lives except the one and only death!! hoho that did come out powerful...all I can do is sit and complain of my life .."Oh! Look at me...it would've been like that but now it is this.. what can I do??" "Huh!! Why should this always happen to me??" I am not the odd one though... Exciting times do keep spiralling out of my life..n I quickly jump to conclusions that life is incredible..amazing..awesome..so on..but before long I do contradict myself...and keep cribbing...yeah I know again that's how life goes on...

I've seen people whom I could not during the four years of my life in BITS... and I can say a wide variety of people with different abilities and needs.. Of course this world accommodates all types!!! The aberrations were those which caused me some pain and some wonder...I look at myself and ask why am I supposed to see all these things?? what am I supposed to do?? what can I do?? Opportunities drove me to different places... there was so much to look and feel each time I went out...Empowered by what BITS taught me :) I did try to make some difference but you know..it's just like a drop... The indifferent attitudes of people on one hand and the loving concern of people on other hand kept pushing me as though toddling on a rope of life :)

The air around me brings in a motley of feelings and thoughts... Its been a fabulous time ever since I realized that life is always good and we turn bad sometimes...My mind is blocked now !!! ha ha!!.. will let go of the rest of my post very soon :D

Indian Cricket!!! :) :(

Well India ne chak diya!! The recent T20 world cup title brought life to many of the die hard cricketers and their fans after they were kicked out of the world cup much earlier this year. It has been great to see the aggressive and passionate young blood turning the stones over after their defeat by New Zealand in the T20. Their effort and hard work helped them trample over few of the best nations in the cricketing field. I find no more peace nor calmness in our cricketers....they have all been pumped up with fire and have been reflecting the same in their game. But I think this is not the end but it's just the beginning. The expectations of all the Indian supporters have rouse and they would be expecting a really good fight between the past and the present champions in the present ongoing Future cup.

In view of the reception that the Dhoni boys got when they set their foot on the homeland after owning the very first T20 cup, I guess it was just awesome.. Truly cricket seems to be the favourite son of Mother India but as people of this nation we also need to consider the other sports which have been getting second degree treatment from the people as well as the Government of different states. India takes pride in producing some of the most brilliant sportsmen ever, be it Vishwanath Anand who just earned back his world chess championship title after seven years or the prodigious talented billiards champ Pankaj Advani or Rajyavardhan Rathore the shooting hero or the Football champions or the (national game) Hockey players or many more unlucky chaps.. I can bet that very few know about these men and their achievements..I say they are unlucky coz they get the recognition and praise from other nations who realize the importance of their sport and their performance while neglected and ignored at their home..It is a shame to all of us and the press specially if we are blind to these wonderful men of our land. They definitely deserve more than what they have been receiving or in fact are receiving.

There can be two outcomes of all that is happening. One is that the other sportsmen can get discouraged and their performance could go down lack of support. Two they would continue to fight back with fire and silence the officials with their dazzling performances in the forth coming tournaments. I know that cricket brings in lotsa profits and that BCCI is the richest in the world. This must throw a call for all the other associations to fasten their belts and get things going. They need to render support no matter what and see that their cream gets the best support and encouragement.

Coming to our "dear sport" cricket I wish that they continue winning laurels for India..else the same pomp and the enthusiasm of the fans here would become history and they would no longer continue to grab the attention of theirs. May they fight fire with fire not only in words but also in actions to prove that we can be consistent winning champions.

And let us all patronize all the other sports heroes of the nation who have been getting step motherly treatment, with much fairness and unbiased love just to lift up our country to higher grounds in the world of sports!!

Is this world no more a safe place?

This is in the context of the recent mishaps that occurred all over the world and in specific our country India and pin pointedly Hyderabad. I still remember my first day in Hyderabad. Early in the morning it was so quiet and serene. The blue sky with the green patches around and the skyscrapers. It was in amazement that I looked at the nature and man's creativity. Imagine then how creative is our creator??

Very soon I realized that it was all an illusion. As the sun took over the place, I could hear so much of noise around, with people and vehicles in a race to reach their terminals. Very soon the roads started to crowd and the commercial streets started their rock. Amidst all this I could still see a few happy faces around which brought smiles over my face. But in the recent past it was more of a troubled and chaotic city that has instilled fears in almost every resident right from a young lad to an old lady. Where to we run from and where to we run to? What is the cause and who is to be blamed? What is happening and why is it so?? I am sure at least one of these questions would be ringing in the minds of all the Hyderabadis. The city being in the limelight is manifested in the attraction that it has provided for terror attacks.

Death is inevitable, none of us can deny that fact but the uncertainty that lies beneath has now been brought to the surface and proven over and over again. When I heard of the the terror attacks that occurred in the US and other parts of the world, I was a bit worried. Later when Tsunamis struck and claimed the lives of so many innocent people I was shaken away. But when things happened so close or rather when I just could be saved from a horrible incident by a fraction of time or distance i was totally troubled. My mind is refusing to be calm or think right. It is the worst things that could happen which strike my mind and it keeps running all over the place. The importance and the preciousness of life is what I keep hovering about.

Now I come to the junction and ask myself is this world no more a safe place? I guess we all need to heed to something greater to depend on and rely upon. It is high time we realize the need of something more powerful and saving. My only wish is that all the big heads of this country would deal with all these sensitive issues and security threats in a wise manner. Inspite of these happenings people are still in their wild dreams some chasing after power , wealth, name and place in the society. United, can we fight for any cause. So selflessness should render its aid in filling all those loop holes and making our nation a safe place to live and let live!!

Road of Life ==>>

I see myself as a road newly laid, perfectly finished
Smooth and slippery, I just can't take my eyes of it
Enjoying a ride on it, each one is exceptional
Marks have they left behind, which shaped me

This is the road of life, this is the road of life
I can't see the terminus, I want to know the destiny!

The footsteps of a mollycoddled infant, the touch
There is nothing like that, bringing me back to life
Stumbled down, its tender fingers reach the floor
They stir the waters of my world, quenching my thirst

This is the road of life, this is the road of life
I can't see the terminus, I want to know the destiny!

Blooming flowers, swaying around and playing along
The leaves flying with the cool breeze shadow me
And when it is time they come down to greet me
With eagerness and zeal to cover me, grilling all day

This is the road of life, this is the road of life
I can't see the terminus, I want to know the destiny!

Clouds are my best friends, they give me solace
Soothing me, scorching and singeing in the sun
Oh! How I yearn to just have a glimpse of them
The drops it sprinkles on me quenches my flames

This is the road of life, this is the road of life
I can't see the terminus, I want to know the destiny!

Then come the gigantic which hurt and scathe me
I am now covered with pot holes and I need a filling
I can't get back to the same splendour and grandeur
How can this be? Is there no way out of this grief?

This is the road of life, this is the road of life
I can't see the terminus, I want to know the destiny!

Later arrived the replete, satiating and filling me all
It demanded pain to settle down and reform me
I was cut out and made but the beauty lies within
I was given a new birth, a road to lead on and lead

This is the road of life, this is the road of life
I can't see the terminus, I want to know the destiny!

My heart!

When life seems so uncertain
When things around scare me
When nothing goes my way
When everything seems upside down
When I feel like screaming out loud
When I want to cry out my heart
When I start to hate things I love most
When friends look like strangers

Then your love fills my cup
Lord, your grace covers me
The void in my heart overflows with joy
I am silenced by your lovingkindness

I don't have to speak out
Tears of happiness roll down
Calming down all my anxieties

Hard to be Faithful!

Lost in this world of chaos
Struggling to reach the shore
I had to find my way out of this maze
I tried hard to break those chains
That held me all my life

Then did faith give me new birth
Everything looked so beautiful
I smelt the freshness of life
I saw much more than I could
I felt like a float, buoyancy provided!

I loved the way it was going
Before long did I realize, that wasn’t all
Oh! Life is also full of tribulations
I knew I had to live it, worthy of living
I conked out, yet hope never left me

Many a times have I been through
The happy and sad phases of life
Success for me was to move on
From one failure to the other one
With exuberance and desire in my heart

After all this I can simply say
Yes, it is hard to be faithful
Never can I stop marveling
At the faithfulness of my God!

Is this Love?

I'm in a trance
I know not what is happening
It's a struggle within me
My thoughts and my feelings
It's a long way to travel
From my mind to my heart
I can do nothing but wait

This journey brings me through
Incredible feelings and irresistible thoughts
What do I do?
I wish the earth stops spinning
Let my life stop here
I want love.Where is love?
I want to flee from hurt, save me!

I lie on my bed, my eyes closed
My heart and mind wide opened
Does love make me restless?
Tossing over and brooding over
Time goes on,days pass by
I stand here, I lie here
With my eyes and arms waiting

Take my love and give me love
Capture my heart, captivate me
Leave me not, I fear fall
May love rise me up, I wish it did
I am deafened to my heart now
Learning to live with pain
I am dead, but still living

I wonder why? I wonder how?
Is this love? Is this love?

Choice

Looking out through the window I see the old lady walking by
Her stomach shrinking, her heart sinking and face drowning
Each day she always longed for someone who would lighten up
The day she would remember for her fastened and strangled life

Untimely out of its mother's womb, I can hear the baby crying
Where am I? Why am I here? I am yet to take form to face
This life filled with incertitude and sempiternal misery
Can you hear me? I cry waiting to be pulled out from this well!

I know this little lad who comes back home with questions
Dragging his miniature mind and leaves it locked up in a dock
Who has the key? When do I find it? When would I be set free?
He calls out in vociferation, but I know none can hear him

How could one be so bonny without a blemish and flaw?
The beauty queen was surrounded by these words all her life
An unfortunate happening left her burnt, she slumped and lost hope
Everyone now is scared to look at her once spotless immaculate face

I see the sun rise each day and set at dusk, but it never would be
The same for one who has been through the depths of suffering
Unrequited they are all around me, what can I do to better their life
My choice would be a turning point for a desperate soul out there!

From Darkness into Light

There are many roads that I come across,
Oh! Where is each road destined to ?
How I hoped there was someone
Who could lead me to the truth.
Everyone around made spurious remarks,
In a mix up, I was unaware of my next move.

Following my conscious, I landed nowhere
Never feeling the need to look up for help
Though there was One always beside
Blinded was I by my pride and arrogance
Never did I realize that the light within me
Was darkness which misdirected me

Jesus you were there to allay me
Sorry! I didn’t have the eyes to see you
Sorry! I didn’t have the heart to feel you
Open arms were waiting patiently for me
To carry all my botherations, with gratis
Onto your saving side assuring peace

Pardon me for I am full of filth
I can't see your face, shining like gold
Deliver me from the darkness of my world
Leave me not, lest I fall into the pit of death
And get trapped in the trauma of life
There is nothing else I could pursue

Make me yours daddy, appease me
What a joy it is to be given new life?
A second chance to be your child
I don't have to wallow in my sorrows
Cause now I know the way that elevates
To higher grounds, that would take me home.